(no subject)

[phineasjones]

i saw camillafarfalla. she was talking better and even managed to smile quite a bit. and then there were also tears - not just hers - because, yes, this was our goodbye. like this weekend was our goodbye to claire. like all these days are turning into goodbyes.

i've never been as good as i am right now about planning and prepping and spending my time well. i'm actually doing the things i need to do to move across the country in just over a week. which is great. but as the departure date (7/14) draws closer, i feel less and less emotionally ready. i love northampton. i love my friends here and all over massachusetts (and new york and connecticut, etc). i love my family and being close to them. this is going to be hard. and i've known that all along but now i can really feel it. i look at a map of the country and i think about the multiple days - or hundreds of dollars - it takes to get from here to there and my breath vanishes.

i'm thirty. i'm a big girl. i know that i will be able to handle this. it's not that kind of fear. maybe it's not fear at all, just sadness. at parting from so many great people and such a great place. at the end of some kind of era of my life. it does help me to think about lj and its potential to keep me connected to people i love. but it will be different. so much will be different.

and so... i'll just pack three more boxes today and keep at it.

Comments

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

yeah. i counted today and i've moved 8 times in 8 years. bleh. enough for a while. at least i know this one should last a while. but all of the moves up to now have been within this one tiny state.

but, yes, you're adviceis good and i know it. and i know everything will be ok. there's just that sadness that sneaks in because now is ok too. and it will be over soon.

::hugs:: thanks.