state of the phin
Apr. 22nd, 2005 05:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phineasjonesit came to my attention throught conversation with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hominidj that i've been rather cryptic here lately, referring to things i'm not writing here and such. i don't mean to be cryptic. some of these 'things' are related to feeling really, somewhat frighteningly off-balance lately. i'm feeling a little calmer now but for a while i was experiencing anxiety to levels that made me feel insane. not a good feeling, and not one i wanted to spend a lot of time chatting about. and i was - and still am a bit - feeling something that felt like ADD backlash. i had started to make some improvements and then all of a sudden, it was as bad as ever, if not worse. the frustration that went with that was almost paralyzing and thus, hard to talk about. other things are related to doing the artist's way with a friend. i'm not embarassed to be doing it - thought sometimes it feels that way because i have a hard time letting myself enjoy things that could be called cheezy - but it's making me think about huge things like the word 'spirituality' and what i think it means and why i don't have it in my life. and that sort of thing feels unfamiliar and fragile and i'm also not inclined to natter on about it much publicly.
i've always felt weird about coming to lj when i'm feeling bad. i don't want this space to be full of woe and misery. and i'm not what most people would consider a private person. i mean, hi, i go on and on here about very personal things all the time. but i feel weird bringing up my problems with other people - even when they've opened themselves to them willingly, as many of you have.
and now i'm trying so hard to be healthy. trying to get enough sleep and eat well (NO SUGAR etc) and exercise and keep my shit together. because i'm pretty thoroughly convinced of the direct connection between those things and my mental health. and that really takes such a large amount of effort that it's on my mind more than just about anything else. which means it's on my mind when i sit down to write here. and i can't imagine that the subject of the health effects of various varieties of rice would be terribly interesting to any of you out there.
so. now you can tell me whether i'm right. k? :)
[Poll #480053]
hominidj that i've been rather cryptic here lately, referring to things i'm not writing here and such. i don't mean to be cryptic. some of these 'things' are related to feeling really, somewhat frighteningly off-balance lately. i'm feeling a little calmer now but for a while i was experiencing anxiety to levels that made me feel insane. not a good feeling, and not one i wanted to spend a lot of time chatting about. and i was - and still am a bit - feeling something that felt like ADD backlash. i had started to make some improvements and then all of a sudden, it was as bad as ever, if not worse. the frustration that went with that was almost paralyzing and thus, hard to talk about. other things are related to doing the artist's way with a friend. i'm not embarassed to be doing it - thought sometimes it feels that way because i have a hard time letting myself enjoy things that could be called cheezy - but it's making me think about huge things like the word 'spirituality' and what i think it means and why i don't have it in my life. and that sort of thing feels unfamiliar and fragile and i'm also not inclined to natter on about it much publicly. i've always felt weird about coming to lj when i'm feeling bad. i don't want this space to be full of woe and misery. and i'm not what most people would consider a private person. i mean, hi, i go on and on here about very personal things all the time. but i feel weird bringing up my problems with other people - even when they've opened themselves to them willingly, as many of you have.
and now i'm trying so hard to be healthy. trying to get enough sleep and eat well (NO SUGAR etc) and exercise and keep my shit together. because i'm pretty thoroughly convinced of the direct connection between those things and my mental health. and that really takes such a large amount of effort that it's on my mind more than just about anything else. which means it's on my mind when i sit down to write here. and i can't imagine that the subject of the health effects of various varieties of rice would be terribly interesting to any of you out there.
so. now you can tell me whether i'm right. k? :)
[Poll #480053]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-23 06:47 pm (UTC)