(no subject)

[phineasjones]

starbuckle's softball game got me pondering grudges. because the first basewoman on the opposing team is a woman i lived with during what i refer to as my Summer of Hell. she played a large role in making it hell. and thus i have carried a grudge against her lo these 7 (holy shit, 7!) years.

and now i ask, what is the fucking point? wouldn't i be happier if i let that one go? how does one go about letting a grudge go? i can remember some happy times with her - when we went swimming in the waterfall, when she tried to teach me to drive a stick (emphasis on 'tried'). but they are so overwhelmed by all the badness... which i don't need to recount here. i kind of feel like what i really need to let go of is my grudge against that whole summer. all the people who made me so miserable, the joblessness and the crappy jobs, the crappy house, the depression.

i kind of feel like it gets in the way of me being happy here now. now that it's summer and i'm here in noho again, i think of that time and it makes me angry all over again. it's so stupid.

how do you do it? how do you choose to let go of something like that?

and hm, i'm appreciating the irony of me thinking about this while at the same time i'm trying to figure out how one builds a grudge as powerful as snape's. hmmm. ::strokes beard::

Comments

that's a really profound quote.

[hominidj.livejournal.com]

i have to think about that.

Re: that's a really profound quote.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

it is, isn't it? i'm tempted to dig up the sermon i stole it out of. i remember it was something along these lines - forgiveness being to the benefit of the forgiver, being a necessary part of moving on etc.