subject

thanks to all of you who sent love and hugs yesterday. it helps. i don't know where i am in the whole mess. i've talked to my parents. my mom is unreservedly contrite. my dad more reservedly so. they've apologized. i've accepted but not forgiven. but i don't really know how to do this. this be mad at them thing. especially my dad. my mom and i are both so emotional... it's not that unusual for us to be upset with each other. but my dad... this is new territory for me. i guess there's not much to do other besides let time pass and anger and hurt fade.

i don't think i'll change anything about my journal. why should i? well, not true. i think i'll make much more frequent use of the security features. but... whatever. whatthefuckever. i'm just frustrated that i even have to think about this. in this way... this sort of retroactive way.

i started this journal for slash purposes exclusively. then it became a handy way to be in touch with julian, scott and sarah as well. now what is it? my parents window into a specific portion of my life? should i have my dad on my friends list? won't that totally change the way i write and think on here?

i just don't frickin know what to do.

but now i have to calm my tummy and sooth my puffy eyes so i can try to get a job. great. like i've even been able to think about this stinkin interview since yesterday afternoon. eh. wish me luck.

i showed her heights she never saw

i think the interview went well-ish. i don't know. it's like i went into perky bullshit mode and now i'm back in regular me mode and i can't even remember what perky bullshit me said. so, i'm just going to trust perky bullshit me and assume it went pretty well. i'll hear from them some time next week, they said.

then i went into harvard square and bought ink for the printer and ordered yarn for a certain slytherin scarf. all i will say (to maintain some element of surprise for my jenny dearest) is that the particular brand of yarn i found is called 'touch me.' *g*

had lunch with rach. ran into ralph!!!! the utter weirdness! i haven't seen him since shortly after we stopped dating. mleh! like i needed something this freak-outish to happen right now. after we saw him, i was convinced that erica would pop out from some corner or alley way. ::shudder::

i am particularly looking forward to saturday now. nothing sounds better to me than sitting around with a bunch of slashers, chattin' it up. uh huh.

what it comes down to is not anger or hurt as much as broken trust. which takes effort to repair. i want to see that effort.

trick or treaters!!!

omg! they're so cute!!!