and i believed you and called you sire

[phineasjones]

mmmmm that's better. warm, dry clothes and hot tea. much better. it's crazy out there. we never get more snow than predicted. well, except today i guess. weehooo!

i just got this e-mail from the evil!minister:
can you please pass on to me any and all choir news that has a "pastoral" element - no matter how seemingly trivial -
i.e. - ill family members, ill choir members, job loss, other issues or crises?

um. no? i mean... i don't know, does that seem weird? sure, she's the minister, but it seems to me that people would tell her if they wanted her to know. the choir are a fairly tight knit bunch... they should be able to talk amongst themselves without it being reported elsewhere. and what, as soon as someone tells me something personal, i have to run and tell her? a lot of them don't like her... i feel very weird about this. am i out of line?

work was ok today but then my brain died and i had to leave. i extra-special-love the snow today because it got me out of things i didn't want to do - playing chauffeur and seeing a gospel choir with R tonight. bleh. i want to stay home and cuddle up on the couch and watch when harry met sally. acquiring that movie may present some issues though, cuz i'm certainly not going to volunteer to dig out the car.

Comments

privacy rant

[anabelwumpkins.livejournal.com]

ooooh what a terrible, invasive, dictatorial request! you are absolutely not out of line at all, and i'm certain that the choir members to whom she is trying to 'minister' will appreciate your respect for their privacy. that kind of invasion never fails to make me furious, as few things have the power to do.

which reminds me... last night i was watching a news segment about a new device parents can attach to their computers to record every little thing that their kids type and i had to actually leave the room to take some deep breaths. down with big brother!

Re: privacy rant

[starbuckle.livejournal.com]

oh amen. i get irritated when one of my parents asks if i've told the other information they told me in confidence (or what might have be in confidence). i'm always like "d00d, tell him or her yourself!" sheesh. i think the same applies here -- the minister can handle her own snooping, she doesn't need you to act as spy, phinny.

as for the computer-spying gadget, oh man, if my parents would've used that on me when i was younger (and now, of course) they would've been in for some serious surprises. ha! would serve them right, finding all my lovely "erotica." bwee! still, yes. grrr at big brother.

Re: privacy rant

[anabelwumpkins.livejournal.com]

no kidding, jen. there was definitely an undercurrent of dear me, the things they don't know... & it's certainly better that way, no?

Re: privacy rant

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

yeah. you're all right. the more i think about this, the less possible it seems that i could say i will do this. i don't get how she could even think this is ok. she should trust people to come to her if they want her to know things. i'm not going to be her spy. it's so weird!

and that kid-tracking thing sounds awful. grrrr. it's all about insecurity - parents who worry they're not doing a good enough job. because really, if you trust yourself and your child, why would you do something like that?

Re: privacy rant

[boixboi.livejournal.com]

To AL:
DEATH TO MODERN PARENTING! DEATH TO TYRANTS! My God that's the sort of thing that gets me so upset, I used to see those sorts of things and just want to tear my hair out in frustration or something of the like. I could rant for hours on modern parenting and spying on your kids and how the devil is in it all.

To PJ:
As for the choir list, that information is private, she doesn't have the right to ask for that sort of thing, especially if it's a tight-knit group. You have no gaurantees that she's not going to turn around and broadcast to the congregation who to pray for or whatever, so you have all rights to refuse that request, either by outright saying no to her, or if that's not an available route with her, just ignoring the request and never "getting around to it." *hugs* I hope it works out.

Re: privacy rant

[anabelwumpkins.livejournal.com]

DEATH TO MODERN PARENTING! yes. yesyesyes. :::underlines in RED that component of the i will not be a mother because... list:::

makes me happy to know that you understand the intense fury that overtakes me upon hearing news of such tyranny. :::growls loudly:::

Re: privacy rant

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

you're totally right. i can't agree to her request without jeopardizing other people's trust in me. i just have to figure out how to handle her now... she's not one to let things drop, do i'm guessing i'll have to figure out how to tell her it makes me uncomfortable. bleh. thanks for the advive ::hugs::

[cimness.livejournal.com]

you're not out of line. it's not like she's your superior in a military chain of command. you're not even obliged to tell her you won't forward stuff, but if i were you i'd point out to her that that seems rather unethical. uu ministers shouldn't go through life being assholes in that respect, at least, not unchallenged.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

yeah, she does a lot of things i consider unbecoming a uu minister. ::sigh:: and i'm going to have to tell her i'm not down with her request. should be interesting... i don't think i've ever said no to her before... it's more in my nature to go along with things and keep the peace. and she's all domineering and controlling... so, here we go!

[scottxwl.livejournal.com]

Yo. What they said.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

:) thanks, i have counted your vote on the 'that's a frickin horrible idea' side.

scottieboy, we here in lj land are a wee but worried about you. less posting than usual... i miss you! i hope you're doing ok... you know, all things considered. ::big ol'hugs::

Re:

[scottxwl.livejournal.com]

Oh, er, I'm not posting much because, er.... hmm.. oh! It's because I'm SO focused on getting my life back on track, and, um, being productive and stuff! Yeah!

Re:

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

really?
::looks suspicious::

Re:

[scottxwl.livejournal.com]

::looks COMPLETELY innocent::

::looks behind himself wondering, what is Phineas looking at so suspiciously::

::shrugs shoulders. Doesn't seem to be anyone else here. Must be a girl thing.::

[camillafarfalla.livejournal.com]

Amen brother! to all of that. Er, sister!

And re. filmage... man, it sucks I didn't come tonight bc I own "WHMS..." and thus we could have had it with no car-digging required. I'll bring it tomorrow if you want, but it may well be moot then.

Yay for seeing you tomorrow!
::kisses::

::and some extra kisses for Cake and Molly::

pastoral element

[emriver.livejournal.com]

I don't see anything wrong with the request, as long as there's no coercion behind it. Compliance with the requet is something else. Is this a normal thing for church choirs? In your place, I might be inclined to announce to the choir "EM's asked me to pass on to her your news about thus and so. So if you want me to do that, let me know and I will" and don't pass on anything to EM unless the subject asks you to pass it on. Is there a "standard practice" for churches for this kind of thing? Could you condense choir news into a hymn that you could perform for EM? Perhaps a chant?

Re: pastoral element

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

hm, so the request is ok even though it would not really be ok to comply with it? i don't see that... i think as a minister, she shouldn't be asking me to do things that i shouldn't be doing, ya know? and i agree that if i said yes, i would have to tell the choir - but that would then stifle their honesty and openness with me and each other. and that would not be the point. i think i'm going to have to tell her no. which should be interesting.

Re: pastoral element

[emriver.livejournal.com]

by the request being ok I meant in the sense of "no harm in asking". Was also not thinking that her request required an answer at all. And where do I get this urge to argue every time you and she disagree? I don't like this one either.

Re: pastoral element

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

yeah. but i feel like there is harm in her asking - because of the totally awkward position she's put me in. and yeah, i don't know why you enjoy defending her. it's clear that you don't have to deal with her on a regular basis. she's probably piss you off too. :)