fragile as a leaf in autumn

[phineasjones]

this is already shaping up to be a better day than yesterday. i wasn't even awake yesterday at this time. but today i've already accomplished several things. this is very very good. and i have one more churchy thing to do before i head off to the office.

mmm... overly sweetened dregs of the morning's pot of coffee. tasty.

and i've already had my heart broken and put back together by ivyblossom today.

so, this isn't really anything new... but i was just thinking these incredibly tragic thoughts about my beloved remus. for ridiculous people like scottxwl who haven't read PoA and GoF yet, i will cut away for these musings.

ok, so... how do you suppose remus found out about the goings on of the night harry's parents died? where was he when it all went down? and how much time elapsed before sirius went after peter and they had their little show down. would remus have been told all of that at once? can you frickin imagine? hi remus, i just wanted to tell you that your three best friends are dead. killed at the hand of or as a result of the betrayal of your lover. oh yeah and he also killed a dozen innocent people. but hey, cheer up, voldemort's gone and baby harry survived. or worse... what if no one did tell him and he, like, read it in the paper or something.

i'm being rather flippant... mostly because i feel silly getting as worked up as i do about these thoughts. but i do. get worked up. and teary. for remus. funny, i feel for sirius. clearly, this was all just as horrible for him... one could say worse considering azkaban and all. but it's the thought of remus being completely alone and feeling betrayed that kills me. yup. over and over again.

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[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

yeah, exactly. and i can't help but imagine remus blaming himself in some ways too - since he was so close to all of them. especially sirius (in my mind anyway). and then to think they were all betrayed by him... he must have asked himself why he never saw it? blame himself for not being able to prevent it. quietly, like you said. sadly. he seems so quiet and sad even when harry and friends first see him. it breaks my heart.