(no subject)

[phineasjones]

24 july 2007


stella (again) doing the only thing a long-haired kitty can do in heat like this. poor things.

yeah, it's hot. it's so hot, it sucks my will to live. and today's been especially bad. most mornings, i wake up at some point in the early morning with just the sheet covering me - the way i went to sleep - and i'm a little chilly and pull a light blanket over myself. i then revel in the coolness that is early morning. this morning? not so much. i woke up and was not chilly. i kept myself under just the sheet until that felt too warm. it has been a horridly hot day. we need a break. it's been in the 90s with no relief and no rain for weeks now. well, until today. we had a really brief thunderstorm with some rain. thanks for that. more now? please?

i'm having a rough day, emotionally speaking. rachel is gone to hawaii and when i think about it, i get really sad. it's not like i saw her every day. but... hers was a comforting presence nonetheless. and when i get self-pitying i think about how carlos left last year and now rachel's leaving this year. my favorite people keep taking off. and then i get more mopey and think about how that's the way school is. everybody leaves. we come here so we can leave. and i left people to come here, some of my most favorite people of all. meh. leaving sucks.

and there's the book. little pieces of it keep creeping up on me and some of them aren't sad but a lot of them are. and... it's just over. closed canon. it's sad. especially the way it closed for some characters.

and i told those things to my therapist today and she was sweet and helpful. and she was telling me to take time for myself and have a good cry and don't bottle things up, etc. which makes me say hm. i don't think many people would call me a bottler. but compared to my former self... yeah, i kind of am. and, see? that's all i want to say about that. we also talked more about perfectionism. ugh. it sucks. she's trying to get me to adopt the rule that i won't say anything to myself that i wouldn't say to my best friend. HA! easier said than done, man.

and then i found out that my friend's wife left him. and that's so sad i don't know what to do about it. cook him some dinner is all i've come up with so far. we'll see how that goes.

also, it's hot. did i mention that?

Comments

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

thank you, love.

[vellum.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

thank you. ::hugs::

[phantom5791.livejournal.com]

I love and miss you so. Please do not be so down. It hurts me to know that we are missing each other so much. Honestly, I try not to think about all the people that I miss because I get down also. I really hope all are doing well and again, please remember that I always think about you and all the wonderful things that we have shared. And still will share.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

yeah. sometimes these things just get to you, you know? you can't think about it too much or you'd just be a mess. but it still comes up. you and rachel are two of the people i talked to the most, the people i was closest to. so i miss you - and will miss her - the most.