(no subject)

[phineasjones]

here we go again. i'm up this morning to go to both the psychiatrist and the acupuncturist, one after the other. i've been doing all those things they asked. vitamins, essential fatty acids, walks, herbs... bleh. this is feeling like a lot of work. not so much the vitamins as the appointments and the general craziness.

i just said to scott the other day that 'i am looking forward to looking back on these days' is a very appropriate little quote for me at the moment. getting myself sorted out is turning out to be a whole lot of work. and my emotions are in constant tumult, which is utterly exhausting. i hope that i will look back on this time someday as the time when i figured out some things, made some important changes and took some steps forward. and i look forward to that time because right now certainly feels rough. i'm nervous all over again about going to see dr. ascher this morning. my most secretest fear is that he'll say something like, yeah, i reviewed everything and turns out you're just lazy. get on your way. or it's all because you haven't been taking your vitamins. go forth and sin no more. both seem a but unlikely, yes, but there you are. my fears.

but even when it's not about my fears, this is hard. these things that i'm trying to deal with are bound up in so much pain. but i've committed myself to it this time. i'm going to keep plugging until something feels a little better.

i had trouble going to sleep last night and i'm not sure whether it was nerves or the stuffing and gravy i ate at 10 p.m. i made it as a little warm up for thursday and mmm it was tasty. rach and i have scheduled our prep tasks throughout the week. i forgot to check to see if the nice silverware needs polishing yesterday. so i'll do that today, along with some cleaning and making the garlic-herb butter that was the big hit at last year's dinner. (hee, i wish i had that picture of starbuckle and madmadharri up somewhere so i could share it.) we did the big grocery shop yesterday. it's amazing we can buy that much for one big dinner... but oh, i do love thanksgiving. and now that i've well and truly acknowledged that it's coming, i'm excited about it.

Comments

[anabelwumpkins.livejournal.com]

when shall i start defrosting the unturkey? and i was thinking i could leave that and some other things in my oven on "warm" and rush back to get them just before the meal, to alleviate the load in your kitchen. let me know what you need :)

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

ooh! good thing i just came across this comment again!

::gets out turkey::

[madmadharri.livejournal.com]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

yum.