(no subject)

[phineasjones]

::world-weary sigh:: not even, though. just work-weary. i really, really want to not have to go there any more. really soon. wah. i hope today is slower, at least. so i can write some and job search some and all that. though i did some job searching yesterday and as usual came up with crap. this job is good for reminding me how bad it can be, though. just about anything would be better. though the pay doesn't suck as bad as it could. i shouldn't have looked at the temp agency bill though. because i saw that, after my taxes are taken out, they're taking in twice as much as i'm making. wah.

i'm going to do my best to have a very positive attitude about singing this evening. i really adore these pieces - settings of katha pollitt poetry. i just don't want those bizarre attack-nerves to come out of wherever it is they hide and get me again. what's that anti-nervous drug opera singers take? i should look in to that.

it's august. dude. and my 3 point plan is for shit. i need to get a move on.

i've been thinking... about lj and time and... well, i would love some advice. i'm just thinking about the amount of time i give to lj and now with work taking up so much time as well and the two not being able to overlap at all... and all the things i need to do like find a job etc...

i'm thinking i might take a hiatus from lj.

wah. it makes me want to cry just to look at that sentence. and i'm only talking about, like, a week. nothing overly dramatic. except that the mere thought makes me panicky and clingy. it's so much a part of my life and my routine at this point. but i really don't want to let it get in the way of other things i need to be doing.

the biggest reason i'm wary, i think, is that i understand the concept of personal support networks and it seems somewhat counterintuitive to take one of those away just when i'm doing things that require support.

but i don't think there's a good middle-ground for me with lj use. i think i could tell myself, 'this is no-lj week.' and would stick to it. but i don't think, 'try to spend less time on lj this week,' would work.

so, i don't know what advice i'm asking for. should i do it? have you? did you survive? (i'm mostly joking. ha. haha.)

also, i would miss you all. and there are so many of you, catching up would be pretty much impossible. and i'm so clingy. it's against my nature to just let go and not pay attention for a week.

but. this may be necessary. so. i don't know. thoughts?

Comments

[starbuckle.livejournal.com]

mmm, lj-hiatus. i have many thoughts on this. let's talk, if and when you want to.

[jjtaylor.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It would terrible, awful, lonely, and depressing - oh, wait, we're talking about your well-being, not mine. Hmmm.

I'm all about moderation. Mostly because when I deny myself something, I'm that much more likely to go after it full force. But there's nothing that says a week-long vacation from lj isn't the moderate approach - it might give you the time you need to reconsider things in your non-lj life and set up a new system that works for you.

But I'm also the wrong person to be asking, because I think lj fits into my life differently than it does for other people. LJ is really all about me, if that makes any sense. It is like a vacation from my real life, a place where I can do whatever I want, and let myself escape from anything that's bothering me - I'm not really making much sense this morning (pre-coffee), but I'll try again later.

Really, I'm trying to express my support of whatever you want to do, because I adore you and you deserve good, happy things.

[semielliptical]

If you need to go away for a week or so, we will all remember you and be happy to see you when you get back. :)

Would it help to make a deal with yourself about specific things you want to get done while away from LJ? So you could say - "I'm not doing LJ right now, it's time to do X." Even if X is something ordinary like the dishes or whatever you haven't had time to do.

LJ is such a routine for me, I find myself instinctively going to my friends list even when I don't have time to read anything, fic or posts. Which is very unproductive. So I'm the kind of person who would be better off cutting it off entirely when I'm short on time. (Not that I always do that when I should.)

And if you try staying away from LJ for a week, and it makes you very unhappy - you can come back! I'm all about breaking rules that don't work.

[wildgreentide.livejournal.com]

i really adore these pieces - settings of katha pollitt poetry.

Seriously? That's too cool! I hope it goes well tonight.

I've given some thought to taking some time off from LJ as well. Not at the moment, because I actually feel like I've been pretty good lately about balancing my online life with my offline life, but certainly since I started at the new job back in May. I felt like I was spending all my free time--AND all my work time--in front of the computer, and I decided that had to stop.

A few weeks ago it was just really busy all week long at work, and I didn't feel like turning on the computer in the evening, and suddenly ten days had gone by and I hadn't even touched LJ. So I took one evening to catch up on my smallest, most personal filter, and I found that I just wasn't that worried about the stuff I had missed. It made me realize I could do a LOT more scrolling by than I was used to doing, which, sort of ironically, has made it easier for me to feel like I'm keeping up. Don't know if that will be helpful for you at all.

On the other hand, I totally understand your point about needing that personal support network. Do you think you could get that in other places? I mean, even just emailing a couple of us to say "ack, this job search sucks!" or "I'm tearing my hair out" or "I feel panicked and scared and let's go get some coffee and talk", or whatever. I know it's a lot easier to get instantaneous support through LJ, but it would probably be good for you to figure out how to get what you need in other ways. Um, I hope I'm not being too terribly patronizing!

[scottxwl.livejournal.com]

I totally support a hiatus. I find I appreciate LJ so much more since I took a month off, and besides, LJ can eat up SO much time with "faux" interaction that it is educational to take a break and evaluate it with some... perspective. And heck, it's not like your quitting, just taking a break.

[ursulakohl.livejournal.com]

How about you take a break, but we all promise to mail or e-mail you slash while you're gone? :)

[dancingrain.livejournal.com]

I think you should do it, because it sounds like you need to. LJ will still be here when you return. I've done it to various degrees at various points and mostly, it feels good to take a break, and to re-remember what matters, who you really do miss connecting to, what wanks you care about and what you can take a miss on entirely, etc. So it can be a good thing.

Re catching up, I personally will be happy to summarize anything I may end up saying for you, in condensed form. I bet others would too. Ask your friends to commit to making a comment to your "I'm back" post with any major news, links to any fics, etc.

<3

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

to re-remember what matters, who you really do miss connecting to, what wanks you care about and what you can take a miss on entirely, etc.

this is good to hear. because those are some of the things i would like to figure out. and then there are plenty of things that i just need to do that i won't do if i have lj available as a procrastination tool. but man, this cold turkey thing is rough. rough.

I personally will be happy to summarize anything I may end up saying for you, in condensed form.

i would appreciate this very much indeed and may be taking you up on it. :)

::loves::

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

If you need to go away for a week or so, we will all remember you and be happy to see you when you get back. :)

how silly is it that that is a real fear of mine? thanks for the reassurance. :)

find myself instinctively going to my friends list even when I don't have time to read anything, fic or posts.

yeah, that's me too. and since i'm always short on time right now... this seems like the best option.

and it's weird to be catching up on comments as part of what i do when i'm not on lj... but really, when i have a free and clear inbox for a whole week, it will make a lot more sense.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

i think i'm already instinctively reaching out to people in other ways. but i'm also aware of the very positive ways that lj helps me connect with people - especially my core groups of friends - who don't get to see as much of each other as they would like. it's handy, as well as many other things.

still, it's also my #1 procrastination tool. and so i think the break is a good thing.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

um, ok! that sounds pretty ideal. :)