(no subject)

[phineasjones]

i'm kind of relieved to find out that my temp agency is closed today. they called on friday about a job for a couple of weeks and i want the job but i was hoping it wouldn't start today. so, good. the only problem would be if it starts tomorrow, because i have an interview with another temp agency then. oops. well, i guess the other problem would be if it did start already and they gave it to someone else. but they knew i wouldn't be there friday when the called... who knows.

mmm_cake and i went to see spiderman 2 last night. i was a bit disappointed. i really liked the first one. this one just... well, didn't add much. and it's received such rave reviews, perhaps i got my hopes up too high. i did think that the villain was better. and certain parts of it i liked a lot. especially the runaway subway train sequence. i'm a sucker, i guess, but i found it touching. but... well, i thought they could have come up with a few other ways of showing peter's distress - the constant close ups of his teary eyes began to weigh on me. and hi, damsel in distress? i feel like i've seen this somewhere before... hmmm... also, the whole conceit of him losing his powers because he didn't want them anymore. huh? that was too touchy feely a concept for me, really. though i enjoyed the return of his dorky nerd persona.

and, the funniest part to me was that the mj/peter scene at the end had quite a bit in common with the final scene of a certain peter parker/elijah wood story that almost came into being. ::hangs head::

i'm having e-mail troubles today. in case you're trying to reach me.

so. that workshop is over. having a day's distance from it now, i don't understand what happened. i don't know why everything seemed so life-and-death, so fricking important. why i was ready to change my career path two days into it. why suddenly their praise - or lack thereof - became the most important thing in my small world. it doesn't really make any sense.


the usual - some useless warm ups and a full group rehearsal then the small groups. we worked on the bach all together. G disappeared, as she was wont to do, but that was peachy because we then got helpful coaching from bob and D, the early music guys. and we finally seemed to make some progress. then we split. our group worked on the handl. and... well, i led the rehearsal. i'm fascinated by this aspect of my own personality. :) i'm all shy but when there's a leadership void, i'm apt to step into it. and so it was with our group. and we didn't have much to rehearse, the piece is simple. so there was a little time before lunch. G asked me and another singer if we wanted to read a bit. sure, said i. what she had for us was the angus dei from machaut's messe de notre dame. it's strange and difficult music. and i floundered a little bit at the beginning. her method of dealing with this was to a.) snap the beats in the most unmusical fashion possible and b.) sing my part with me. it made me so angry, i was either going to kill her or storm out of there. and thus, of course, there was to be no good reading for me, when i was practically dizzy with my need to grab her snapping hand and bite her fingers off. seriously, i can't really explain my rage in words. it was the culmination of the whole crappy week. and then we were done. she had to get back to help out another group. and i was left trying to take deep, deep breathes and keep the violence inside.

she then observed some of anney's rehearsal and pissed her off almost as severely. and then anney and i escaped for lunch. some time away from them all. we went and practiced the bach some, since G had just switched anney's part for the second time (yes, mere hours before the performance). singing the soprano parts from the two different choirs, we finally understood how the parts fit together. it was great, and something G had never had us do. figures.

back to rehearsal. anney and i kept the bach together by watching each other carefully and keeping each of our choirs from rushing. seriously, i think it hung together because of the two of us. when we got to the aria at the end, we made G cry. heh. she had trouble giving us her comments because she was all weepy.

the concert was at 2:30 scott and rach came. i was bored for most of it. i might have found it all charming if i hadn't seen them do these things every night for a week. anney's jazz group, though, was totally amazing. they sang lonesome road and just sounded perfect. people would pay good money to hear something like that. or, they should. my group sang its little handl and... well, anney told me it was good but... it rushed, which was my fault since i really set the tempo, and my voice felt weak and breathy. like finally the week of singing caught up with me at that one unfortunate moment. also, it was rather cruel to put our dinky little handl piece right after lonesome road. they just don't compare.

at the end of the next half, we sang the bach. i just want to have a moment for him, please. because while singing that piece, i wasn't thinking about any of this, or what anyone would think of the performance or anything. just the music, the incredible music. and looking across the choir to check in with anney and feel our parts fitting together or working against each other. feeling the weight of the words. it was moving. apparently P thought so too, since he cried when we were done. aw. and then everyone came up and we sang the samba group piece. and that was that. we went and settled accounts and said goodbye to a few people and were done.

there was a nice moment earlier i forgot to mention, when E - a member of the ensemble - told anney and i he liked our duet on friday and we sound great together and he has a piece for two sopranos (he's a composer) and we should take a copy, free as a gift. which was really lovely of him.

and now it's over and i'm left going wha? what the hell just happened?

Comments

[jjtaylor.livejournal.com]

I've been reading your chronicles with interest all week, and I'm sorry to hear the ups and downs didn't really end with the super up that should have been. Sounds to me like the people in charge of the workshop weren't all that skilled with working with people - giving advice, feedback, encouragement - it all seemed awkward coming from them. I hope that you're feeling better about it. Let me know if there's anything I can do to cheer you.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

god, it's weird to even think about this a week later. what the hell happened? it was so dramatic at the time. i don't know. it's filed away i my brain for later processing at this point because i just don't get it. i mean, yeah, they had some issues, but my reaction seems out of whack with the situation. yeah, i'll figure it out one day.