(no subject)

[phineasjones]

wuh. there was much flist reading to be done this morning since i gave myself over to the television last night. mmm. northern exposure watching with scottxwl and annelarissa was much fun. i just adore that show. ::happy sigh:: and then mmm_cake and i watched some s6 buffy. meow. so great. episodes i have never seen before of two of my favorite shows! most excellent.

i had this dream the night before last about being on carabane island. it's a tiny, tiny island (population about 200, i think) off the southern coast of senegal. i went there for a few days with my friend S during our 'spring break' in dakar. we loved it, it was so quiet and beautiful. and so dark at night since there was barely any electricity on the island (our 'hotel' had one light in the lobby area). anyway, in the dream i was there alone and i wasn't sure why. i had a little cabin to stay in right on the water. i found two men down the beach a ways but they wouldn't talk to me. i kept almost going into the water but just standing there and looking at it and how pretty it was. and then i had this really obvious conversation with myself that went something like, 'you loved it here. you said it was your favorite place on earth.' 'yes, but now i'm alone and i don't know why i'm here.' 'but you love it. don't question it, just enjoy it. look at how beautiful the water is.' 'but i'm lonely and while i do love it here, i don't have to stay if i'm not happy.'

yeah, that was the dream.

i have a whole bunch of reading to do but it's thursday so i don't know when i'll get the chance. here's the current list:
-addictedkitten's angel fic check.
-prillalar's h/d check.
-musesfool's girlsmut check.
-hackthis's harry/ron ::flails madly::
eta: more:
that h/d everyone's reccing
frodo/sam recced by cim
also, linked by hackthis, exckjfhdskuse me?

and if you like the drabble, you should definitely be following jacito and dorrie6's run up to PoA challenge.

Comments

i'm really bad at this.

[hominidj.livejournal.com]

what does it mean? is an anxiety dream about grad school?

Re: i'm really bad at this.

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

maybe. i don't really know what it means either. i think maybe it means that i'm becoming more ok with the idea of leaving this area next year. which is something rach really wants to do and something will have to do if i go to grad school. a little reminder that just because i love it here doesn't mean it's where i have to live right now. i might be happier elsewhere. that i should pay more attention to what i need to be happy. or at least content. or not sad.