honesty. on a stick.

[phineasjones]

i'm back. it was a wholesome vermont weekend. we spent a lot of time driving through beautiful mountainy areas... stopping at cute farms and country stores and antique shops. we went to middlebury and burlington and south royalton. saw the sites. such as they are. and we relaxed. played board games at night - by ourselves and with other couples staying at the b&b. the food was hearty and plentiful... i loved just being able to eat and not worry about what was in everything (did i mention that this was a vegan bed and breakfast?). but i was also all like, i could make this better. :) cuz i'm a snob like that. i'm more into flavor than healthfulness... this guy was the other way around... as many vegans, sadly, are. my allergies made a concerted effort to ruin the trip, but i would not let them. just now, my sinuses are calming down. ergh. i hate my sinuses.

and rach and i got a little snippy at each other last night. this is rare. it was her fault. and it was my fault. she doesn't express herself well sometimes. i know that, and i can work with it or i can be an asshole like last night and wait her out... i don't know why i went with the asshole option. but all is well now.

we saw hominidj, harrimad_sol and scottxwl in noho on our way to vermont. went out to lunch and took some silly pictures. hominidj and harrimad_sol left for ohio yesterday. i think maybe i'll write more on this topic later...

right now i'm having big thoughts. ones that are really a bit too large for my head. about what i'm doing and what i want to be doing and people i love and what i do about that and what's my life about and what place does this shiny light up box with a keyboard hold in it and what place do i want it to hold and what am i going to do right now? i think i'm going to put on shorts and sneakers and go for a walk. being away from things... even just for a few days, reminded me of all sorts of things i used to do and love to do... including nothing - just doing nothing. sitting, listening... lighting candles... ugh, could i sound more new agey? i don't care. i just mean... there are things we all do to take care of ourselves. and i haven't been doing those things. and it's not a good idea, i think. removes me from my base... core or something. i've been feeling so detached and that's not what i want anymore. yeah, i'm going for a walk now.

Comments

Yahoo article

[scottxwl.livejournal.com]

The title of this article made me think of you. (okay, both of us.) Internet Addiction May Be Form Of Stress Management (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=571&e=10&u=/nm/20020826/hl_nm/stress_internet_dc_1).

Re: Yahoo article

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

um. heheh. can't i please just spend a little more time in the denial phase?

but yeah. ::sigh::

my challenge is... i don't want to 'quit' this little addiction... i enjoy it too much. so must find a way to integrate it into a productive and fulfilling life. any suggestions?

Re: Yahoo article

[scottxwl.livejournal.com]

Er, no. I have no suggestions. I frequently go through phases where I realize that all the things I do are solitary pursuits and I should be a more social person and blahblahblah. So I quit all my video games and web surfing and reading and movie watching and try to be a social animal. And that's when I realize that I've eliminated all the things that make me happy. So then I dive back into them with renewed ernthusiasm until I do the whole thing over again a few months later.

P.S. Buffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffybuffy!!!!!!

Re: Yahoo article

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

lol.

i could see myself doing that. except not really... i am never particularly into denying myself things i like if it can be helped. 'if it can be helped' being a rather important modifier. balance. moderation. these are the things i need to work with. ::snore:: such an old lesson and still so fucking hard to learn.

and buffy!!!! right backatchya 2 2 2! tonight. :)