it's a poll.

[phineasjones]

prillalar asked what otp means to people. she got some interesting answers.

so, jenny has got me thinking about sexual identity this morning. goes well with coffee. i have many thoughts and theories on the subject, but i wonder if you would indulge me by taking a wee poll. i've locked the results so that only i can see them, in case there are those of you who don't mind telling me but don't want to tell the world. i'm not doing this to see what specific individuals will say, i just want to see the general trends. i'll post the overall results, though, for those who are interested.

[Poll #237498]

and with that, i'm off to work. early! yay! this is already a better day than yesterday was.

Comments

[penknife.livejournal.com]

Neat poll . . . although I'm exactly 30, and wasn't sure what to answer for age--your categories overlap.

[camillafarfalla.livejournal.com]

oh god, I love your icon. oh, my king. ::hand over heart patriotic for Rohan::

[penknife.livejournal.com]

Isn't it great? stellamaru made it. "Ride for ruin and a red day dawning . . ."

[camillafarfalla.livejournal.com]

Jesus, I can't even read those eight words without getting a little choked up. ::sniffles a little::

[phineasjones.livejournal.com]

haha. oops. i guess you 20 and 30 year olds can decide which decade you feel like you belong to. :)

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

I had a friend in college who, when pressed to define her sexuality once during a silly, late-night game of Truth or Dare, responded that she wasn't straight, she was "curvy." Ever since then, I've thought that a sort of apt and amusing description for the "well, yes, I'm straight, I'm basically straight...but I'm always open to possibilities" mindset. Another friend in that same game described herself as a "bisexual lesbian," which I suppose fits the other end of the sliding scale.

I just find it so funny how much we, as people, seem to need labels--for this or for any other thing--when so often the ones that are commonly available are but a poor representation of the vast differences among us, and of the continuum we lie on.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, some people just make up their own terms, which particularly as a lover of language and creativity i think is wonderful. One of my friends identified as "homoflexible" for a while and now identifies as "fluid" (i suggested "queer" but he says he doesn't like "q" words *shrug*).

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Wow, i'm 20-30. (You started the poll with "under 20," so it's only the 30-year-olds who get to pick, and most can likely translate that the third category should be "31-40.")

I've self-identified as queer since my senior year in high school (which feels farther away than the 3 years it actually has been) when i had my first serious crush on a girl and also read Lauren Martin's "The Mixed-Race Queer Girl Manifesto" (http://www.geocities.com/yellowperil77/manifesto.html):

For the past few years I have just considered myself queer. To me, queer merely means I don't fit into the dominant heterosexual paradigm. It means I can be attracted to people of various genders, or to no one at all. It's a large, fluid category that goes beyond hetero/homo/bi/asexual. If I were asked to "check one sexual orientation," I'd either leave it blank, check off "Other," write in a new category, or defy the rules and check all that applied.

I particularly loved that Lauren included "asexual," because for much of my adolescence i felt that best defined my sexuality since i wasn't interested in anyone (first real crush on a boy was 9th grade) though i was learning how to pleasure myself.

"Queer" is sometimes problematic because it implies more radical politics than fit me, but i really like the term (and i don't have the baggage some people do of growing up with it as a derogatory term; i always just knew it as meaning "different, strange, unusual" which very much fits and which i'm comfortable with). I dislike "bisexual" because it implies a dichotomy of desire, as if i like boys half the time and girls half the time (and, incidentally, leaves little room for relationships with genderqueer persons) while my desires tend to go in phases (and ultimately i'm attracted to people, not genders) but i often declare myself "bi" to other people either because it's more palatable for them or it's easier for them to understand or because i want to emphasize that i play for both teams (one thing i love about the term "queer" is its inclusivity, but that also means that if someone identifies as "queer" you don't really know if they play for both teams or just the one).

[semielliptical]

It was difficult to answer "how I describe myself to others," because as a woman married to a man, in a very monogamous relationship of 10+ years, people just assume I am straight - no need for questions. And it's a very rare conversation where I feel the need to indicate that's not completely true. Anyway. Interesting questions.`

[elynrae.livejournal.com]

As far as describing myself to other people - I don't, really. I imagine most people assume I'm straight; my school friends probably think of me as bi since I told them I was a few years back, but I don't really know what I am, so I can't describe it to other people.

[wildgreentide.livejournal.com]

Interesting results!

I used to tell people I was bi, in high school, but it was mostly wishful thinking. I identify as straight now, after coming to the painful realization that I don't actually feel any desire to sleep with women. *sigh* I still wish I were queer, because it's the culture I feel most comfortable in (I spent my most formative years listening to Ani and reading Jeanette Winterson), but I just don't feel it, and I don't like lying to myself any more than anyone else does. So I say I'm straight. Subject to change without notice, but the possibility seems to grow more remote every year.

[addictedkitten.livejournal.com]

I kinda tend to be attracted to pretty. But there's no word for that (aesthetisexual?) and anyway to really be accurate it would be something like "generally celibate and not actively looking for a relationship because those take effort and stuff unless of course you're offering in which case come here." But people rarely offer, so it's not much of a problem. Mostly I just lust after whomever, and I'm not shy about expressing it, no matter the gender of the subject (object? er).

It still feels weird when people are like "so...you're bi?" and I say yes. I don't know. I used to think I fell more toward the straight end of the Kinsey scale, but lately I've been feeling entirely equal opportunity. Boys have always kind of been the default, because obviously it's easier to find a straight boy than a queer girl. But this year I've found myself going through girl phases, usually prompted by certain people (damn you Britney), in which I'm like "girls! now! please!" and then you know, whatever happens, and I settle back into no particular preference.

So that's me.

[holdenrevisited.livejournal.com]

Great poll....so i'm to comment on how I describe myself to me....essentially, straight but I reserve the right to change my mind whenever I please. Women are fabulous, men are fabulous, we're all so fabulous that I'd hate to miss out on a wonderful experience with someone just because I identify as straight to a world that likes labels.

[dancingrain.livejournal.com]

I put that I identify as queer/bi to both myself and others... but I don't think it ends up working out that easily in real life. Like, to many people who know me, including most family, there's never been a convenient way to come out, or else I don't want to make waves, so I allow and perpetuate the assumption of being straight, though it makes me uncomfortable. Which is further complicated by the fact that, in general, I do *prefer* men to women. So for example when I think about trying eventually to find a lifelong partner, I in general expect that person to be male, so I sort of consider myself straight in that respect... but I'd much rather identify and be identified as bi.