i can't read my otp. ootp. and a rec.
Aug. 17th, 2003 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phineasjonesso, if you know me at all, you know my otp. it's not a rare one, but i take it very, very personally. i understand why people would write other pairings involving sirius or remus - with james or snape most obviously - but i will not, under any circumstances, read those stories. ever. my little heart can't handle it. this isn't so rare either.
what i think may be rare is that i have trouble reading sirius/remus fic. i read a lot back in the day, when i was first getting into harry potter slash (i thought they were the only pairing i'd read bc harry/draco??? who could believe that? ahaha. ahahaha). but i didn't sustain that long and i haven't really gone back to it since. just a dabble here and there and i would usually come up disappointed in some way. with exceptions, of course (most notably ladyjaida and cim and wax).
with something like harry/draco, my love for the pairing makes me want to read read read it. but with sirius and remus it's completely different. i think about them all the time because i can't help it. because i love them. and i actually believe in them in a way i don't with any others. and so, reading s/r then has the danger of not adding up to what i already believe about them. and there's also that feeling that they're mine and that other people can't possibly understand them. heheh.
and now, post ootp, it's more pronounced than ever. i haven't been able to read any s/r at all. at all. partly because i'm still working it all out in my head. recovering, if you will. and i don't want anyone telling me what i should be feeling, or worse, what remus is feeling. i do NOT want to read a 'remus moves on' fic. i don't want to read a 'remus suffers' fic. i don't trust anyone to handle this. myself included.
which brings me to the rec. i broke my rule last night.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zionsstarfish posted an s/r fic. so far, i've read only h/d from her and i've loved it all. her style is spare but poetic, her touch is light. i thought maybe... just maybe. and so i read it. hereafter. it's soft, it's beautiful. it made me cry but in a very good way. i'm glad it's the only post-ootp s/r i've read. it may be the only one i ever do read. and that will be just fine.
what i think may be rare is that i have trouble reading sirius/remus fic. i read a lot back in the day, when i was first getting into harry potter slash (i thought they were the only pairing i'd read bc harry/draco??? who could believe that? ahaha. ahahaha). but i didn't sustain that long and i haven't really gone back to it since. just a dabble here and there and i would usually come up disappointed in some way. with exceptions, of course (most notably ladyjaida and cim and wax).
with something like harry/draco, my love for the pairing makes me want to read read read it. but with sirius and remus it's completely different. i think about them all the time because i can't help it. because i love them. and i actually believe in them in a way i don't with any others. and so, reading s/r then has the danger of not adding up to what i already believe about them. and there's also that feeling that they're mine and that other people can't possibly understand them. heheh.
and now, post ootp, it's more pronounced than ever. i haven't been able to read any s/r at all. at all. partly because i'm still working it all out in my head. recovering, if you will. and i don't want anyone telling me what i should be feeling, or worse, what remus is feeling. i do NOT want to read a 'remus moves on' fic. i don't want to read a 'remus suffers' fic. i don't trust anyone to handle this. myself included.
which brings me to the rec. i broke my rule last night.
zionsstarfish posted an s/r fic. so far, i've read only h/d from her and i've loved it all. her style is spare but poetic, her touch is light. i thought maybe... just maybe. and so i read it. hereafter. it's soft, it's beautiful. it made me cry but in a very good way. i'm glad it's the only post-ootp s/r i've read. it may be the only one i ever do read. and that will be just fine.