ron/goyle!!!
Apr. 4th, 2003 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phineasjonesa wee drabble for the birthday of the beautiful ms. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
harrimad_sol... many thanks to starbuckle for some on-the-spot bunny- and beta-ing, and apologies to her also, for being impossible and cranky.
love to harrimad! you're the best!
Never Tell
He never told Harry.
He never told Harry because Harry had all the appropriate reactions. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of Crabbe’s feet as he tugged off his shoes. Took a deep breath and steeled himself before leaning in to pull a hair from Crabbe’s head. It was clear that he was doing his duty, odious though it was. Harry was like that, dutiful.
Ron expected to be like that too. The thought of having to reach out and touch Goyle and then somehow drag that enormous body all the way to the closet … well, it was not a pleasant thought.
The first thing he didn’t tell Harry was that Goyle wasn’t all that heavy. Harry seemed to be having a much harder time with Crabbe. The next thing was that where he expected to feel soft, abundant flesh, he instead felt layers of sinuous muscle. Goyle felt strong, dry and warm. His feet didn’t smell like Crabbe’s. When Ron leaned over to gingerly tug out a single hair, he was surprised again that it was soft, smooth and smelled like apples. But Ron didn’t say any of that.
Instead, when Harry looked at him, Ron sneered a little. He made sure Harry saw just how unpleasant this task was for him.
Ron never told Harry just how strange it had been to see him in Goyle’s body. How strange it was to really listen to Goyle’s voice for the first time, to watch Goyle’s face for reactions and instructions. He never told Harry that when they changed back, Harry seemed smaller, skinnier. Weaker.
Ron knows more now. More that he won’t tell Harry. He hasn’t been able to stop watching Goyle since he started. He knows now that Goyle isn’t as dumb as everyone thinks. Goyle isn’t always tagging along behind Malfoy. He doesn’t always wait for Malfoy to tell him what to do. It was Goyle who noticed Ron watching, Goyle who caught him in the stairway, Goyle who is strong enough and smart enough to keep Ron wandering the dark hallways at night – waiting in empty rooms.
Ron won’t tell Harry the other things he has learned about Goyle either. That he likes things quiet, very quiet. But that the speed of his breathing tells you all you need to know. And that he doesn’t mind when Ron bites the fingers clamped over his mouth to keep him silent.
Ron looks at Harry’s fingers as they sit across from each other at dinner. The nails are too short where he’s been chewing them, but they are otherwise smooth and white. Free of marks. Ron imagines biting those fingers. Harry would shout with surprise, pull his hand away. A movement over Harry’s shoulder catches Ron’s eyes. Goyle is getting up from the Slytherin table, heading toward the door of the hall.
Harry sees Ron looking and asks, “What?”
Ron blinks at him, “Nothing.”
harrimad_sol... many thanks to starbuckle for some on-the-spot bunny- and beta-ing, and apologies to her also, for being impossible and cranky. love to harrimad! you're the best!
Never Tell
He never told Harry.
He never told Harry because Harry had all the appropriate reactions. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of Crabbe’s feet as he tugged off his shoes. Took a deep breath and steeled himself before leaning in to pull a hair from Crabbe’s head. It was clear that he was doing his duty, odious though it was. Harry was like that, dutiful.
Ron expected to be like that too. The thought of having to reach out and touch Goyle and then somehow drag that enormous body all the way to the closet … well, it was not a pleasant thought.
The first thing he didn’t tell Harry was that Goyle wasn’t all that heavy. Harry seemed to be having a much harder time with Crabbe. The next thing was that where he expected to feel soft, abundant flesh, he instead felt layers of sinuous muscle. Goyle felt strong, dry and warm. His feet didn’t smell like Crabbe’s. When Ron leaned over to gingerly tug out a single hair, he was surprised again that it was soft, smooth and smelled like apples. But Ron didn’t say any of that.
Instead, when Harry looked at him, Ron sneered a little. He made sure Harry saw just how unpleasant this task was for him.
Ron never told Harry just how strange it had been to see him in Goyle’s body. How strange it was to really listen to Goyle’s voice for the first time, to watch Goyle’s face for reactions and instructions. He never told Harry that when they changed back, Harry seemed smaller, skinnier. Weaker.
Ron knows more now. More that he won’t tell Harry. He hasn’t been able to stop watching Goyle since he started. He knows now that Goyle isn’t as dumb as everyone thinks. Goyle isn’t always tagging along behind Malfoy. He doesn’t always wait for Malfoy to tell him what to do. It was Goyle who noticed Ron watching, Goyle who caught him in the stairway, Goyle who is strong enough and smart enough to keep Ron wandering the dark hallways at night – waiting in empty rooms.
Ron won’t tell Harry the other things he has learned about Goyle either. That he likes things quiet, very quiet. But that the speed of his breathing tells you all you need to know. And that he doesn’t mind when Ron bites the fingers clamped over his mouth to keep him silent.
Ron looks at Harry’s fingers as they sit across from each other at dinner. The nails are too short where he’s been chewing them, but they are otherwise smooth and white. Free of marks. Ron imagines biting those fingers. Harry would shout with surprise, pull his hand away. A movement over Harry’s shoulder catches Ron’s eyes. Goyle is getting up from the Slytherin table, heading toward the door of the hall.
Harry sees Ron looking and asks, “What?”
Ron blinks at him, “Nothing.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-04 11:07 am (UTC):::loves:::
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-04 11:07 am (UTC)I mean, he's all . . . interesting here. He has layers. He's questioning his previously iron-clad beliefs. And Goyle is actually interesting and multi-dimensional here, too. You made me like Ron/Goyle. Go you.
You should write more, you know. I mean, it's easy to say that to someone else, when you're not the one doing the difficult, time-consuming work of writing. But I this is the second piece of yours I've seen, and I think you're quite good at it, really. I particularly like the way this piece subverts canonical expectations without making a big fuss about it. It's very matter of fact, which is not only very in-character for Ron but puts the focus on Ron's emotional experience, rather than waving a red flag around printed with "Author cleverly subverts canonical and fanonical conventions here!"
I really love writing that is beautiful and graceful but doesn't call attention to itself, that does the work its meant to do without neon signs pointing out how smart the writer is, and how clever the language and metaphors are. I think in my own work that I sometimes allow my love of jokes and banter and my love of language and metaphor to stand in the way of a more effective, quieter, more transparent writing style, and I very much admire your ability to write smoothly, gracefully and confidently, with a kind of transparency that allows the reader to see the characters instead of the writer.
I'm extremely resistant to Ron, and Goyle isn't someone that I think of as being attractive or interesting in any way, but I completely bought this pairing in this story. I actually want to see more of these two, or of this world, and I hate Ron so much I killed him off in the War in my own stories.
Go, you!
Re:
Date: 2003-04-07 06:26 am (UTC)as for what you've said here about my writing... when i can pick myself up off the floor, maybe i can formulate an acceptable response. :) i've always said i hate writing. like, a lot. and i still get that feeling... but i've given myself a little pass with slash - just babbble, write what i would want to read. and the whole beta thing... that makes writing so much more enjoyable than it ever was before. i was contemplating recently that if we had had some kind of beta system in high school and college, my attitude toward writing may have been very very different. i don't have to make anything perfect... i can try it and someone will help me make it the way i want it to be. it's incredibly freeing.
anyway, lovely comments like yours here make me want to write more - make me feel like i can. thank you.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-04 02:07 pm (UTC)*loves*
Re:
Date: 2003-04-07 06:19 am (UTC)pervperson who thinks so.i'm beginning to think that it's my job to bring ron to the masses... all these h/d'ers who unfairly dislike him. ::sigh::
thanks, girly. ::smooches::
::fangirlish squeeeeee!!::
Date: 2003-04-04 02:38 pm (UTC)i am the luckiest birthdaygirl in the world!!
ok, heh. i started picking out lines that i liked, to say how wonderful they were.. until i noticed i was picking out every single line in the story. whoops! i love this story. it's so tight and wonderful, and captures ron so well.. and harry too, actually -- the harry you have here is the so exactly how i think of harry; dutiful...Harry would shout with surprise, pull his hand away.
I love what we learn about goyle, and how ron watches and knows him... That he likes things quiet, very quiet. So perfect. and he's still "goyle," not greg or something. but what i enjoyed most is what we learn of ron and how he changes, showing so much in just in one page, and the hints at his depth of character that we don't get to see in the canon, and hardly ever in fandom either... and it's all so believeable, that this is who ron is.
and, and, gah!! i can't find the words to say how much i loved this. i agree with everything
thank you so much for writing this! what a totally splenderific birthday present!
::hugs and more squeeeeeing::
Re: ::fangirlish squeeeeee!!::
Date: 2003-04-07 06:16 am (UTC)yeah, i couldn't make the leap from goyle to greg... and i didn't feel like ron really would either.
why does everyone hate ron? i don't understand!!! but if it's my job to write wee drabbles that make him likeable to the slashy masses, so be it!
::hugs:: glad you liked it and that you're birthday was good. don't you think you should come out here next weekend for more celebrating?
:D
Re: ::fangirlish squeeeeee!!::
Date: 2003-04-08 11:16 pm (UTC)yes! you must convert the masses to ron!love! and yes! i shall see you this weekend, so that the birthday may never end!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-07 07:58 am (UTC)That's all I'm gonna say here now 'cause I'll squee to you more in person. But, yes. Everything they all said.
And
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!