(no subject)

omg. tired. still so. much. to do. i think it will never end. never ever. wah.

today i hope to visit camillafarfalla who is at her mom's house here in the valley. she is extremely sick. she was coming to the area on friday and almost didn't come because she was getting a sore throat. she came anyway and by the weekend the sore throat had become so awful that she spent five hours in the ER and then stayed in the hospital overnight, getting morphine so she could swallow. she's improving now, slightly, but she's still really sick. it's probably strep but tests have not been conclusive. anyway, i'll be going to see her and i'm sure any well-wishing would be appreciated.

ok, um, this post is naught but an excuse to sit still in front of the fan for a few minutes. i need to get back to my list of tasks for the day but the humidity... it is trying to kill me. or at least make me nap. but i'm running out of things to write - unless you want to know about the most exciting part of yesterday, which was finding a disposable, enclosed litter box that we can use in the car when we're traveling for 3 days with the kitties.

not really. the most exciting thing was the visit from madmadharri and be_not_afraid and the ensuing mary kay party led by annelarissa at which i may possibly have purchased a whole bunch of makeup.

yeah. anyway. i miss you all.

(no subject)

i saw camillafarfalla. she was talking better and even managed to smile quite a bit. and then there were also tears - not just hers - because, yes, this was our goodbye. like this weekend was our goodbye to claire. like all these days are turning into goodbyes.

i've never been as good as i am right now about planning and prepping and spending my time well. i'm actually doing the things i need to do to move across the country in just over a week. which is great. but as the departure date (7/14) draws closer, i feel less and less emotionally ready. i love northampton. i love my friends here and all over massachusetts (and new york and connecticut, etc). i love my family and being close to them. this is going to be hard. and i've known that all along but now i can really feel it. i look at a map of the country and i think about the multiple days - or hundreds of dollars - it takes to get from here to there and my breath vanishes.

i'm thirty. i'm a big girl. i know that i will be able to handle this. it's not that kind of fear. maybe it's not fear at all, just sadness. at parting from so many great people and such a great place. at the end of some kind of era of my life. it does help me to think about lj and its potential to keep me connected to people i love. but it will be different. so much will be different.

and so... i'll just pack three more boxes today and keep at it.