(no subject)
Feb. 8th, 2005 06:42 amoh, fer cryin' out loud.
( this )is the picture on the lotr day calendar today. people. i am trying to be chipper. what is the cosmos telling me by showing me the picture that most makes my heart feel like it's collapsing in on itself? what am i supposed to get out of this today?
weirdly, i think i kind of know the answer. i mean, not really, bc i believe that whole concept (universe conspiring to send me, one phineas jones, a personal message) is BS. but... well. let's say that my psyche is working overtime these days. and my analysis of myself at present involves references to lotr. and this scene would be very relevant. which is probably one reason it's so sweetly painful to look at this picture.
but i won't be here to look at it much. i have to go see shrink-man today. and then... JJ is coming!!!! yay!!! ::dances around:: this is what i need to pull me out of my funk, clearly. so excited am i. and then tonight, rehearsal. so... desk? what desk? if the universe is indeed sending me a message, it'll have to find me first.
i spent a little time observing a choir rehearsal at my alma mater yesterday. it was weird and nostalgic but probably useful for me. the director, C, has offered to let me lead some of an upcoming glee club rehearsal - to get myself in the habit of working with college-age singers again. this is the kind of generosity that keeps me kissing her ass, even when she's a complete jerk, which is frequently. it would also be a really great thing for me, i think. maybe cut down the crazy nerves just a little.
( this )is the picture on the lotr day calendar today. people. i am trying to be chipper. what is the cosmos telling me by showing me the picture that most makes my heart feel like it's collapsing in on itself? what am i supposed to get out of this today?weirdly, i think i kind of know the answer. i mean, not really, bc i believe that whole concept (universe conspiring to send me, one phineas jones, a personal message) is BS. but... well. let's say that my psyche is working overtime these days. and my analysis of myself at present involves references to lotr. and this scene would be very relevant. which is probably one reason it's so sweetly painful to look at this picture.
but i won't be here to look at it much. i have to go see shrink-man today. and then... JJ is coming!!!! yay!!! ::dances around:: this is what i need to pull me out of my funk, clearly. so excited am i. and then tonight, rehearsal. so... desk? what desk? if the universe is indeed sending me a message, it'll have to find me first.
i spent a little time observing a choir rehearsal at my alma mater yesterday. it was weird and nostalgic but probably useful for me. the director, C, has offered to let me lead some of an upcoming glee club rehearsal - to get myself in the habit of working with college-age singers again. this is the kind of generosity that keeps me kissing her ass, even when she's a complete jerk, which is frequently. it would also be a really great thing for me, i think. maybe cut down the crazy nerves just a little.
