(no subject)

so of course my mini sirius action figure required a mini remus action figure. and then remus of course needed a shave. which i accomplished by scraping his moustache paint off with a pair of scissors. much better. and now they are perpetually locked in a not-so-brotherly embrace on my desk. this pleases me.

wtf it's supposed to be 90 degrees today? urgh. i'll be hiding in our nasty basement with the creepy crawlies. ick, no i won't. but i'm sure i'll complain enough for 12 people.

last night i went with mmm_cake, annelarissa, scottxwl and holdenrevisited to watch starbuckle's softball game. it was good times. they trounced the other team (25-5) and i discovered that i know more about softball-baseball than some other people. given my lack of sporty inclination, this is surprising. but jenny has to stop saying how boring it was because i, for one, had a good time and was quite entertained. and i saw an ex-housemate of mine on the opposing team. which made me a little glad they lost.

(no subject)

starbuckle's softball game got me pondering grudges. because the first basewoman on the opposing team is a woman i lived with during what i refer to as my Summer of Hell. she played a large role in making it hell. and thus i have carried a grudge against her lo these 7 (holy shit, 7!) years.

and now i ask, what is the fucking point? wouldn't i be happier if i let that one go? how does one go about letting a grudge go? i can remember some happy times with her - when we went swimming in the waterfall, when she tried to teach me to drive a stick (emphasis on 'tried'). but they are so overwhelmed by all the badness... which i don't need to recount here. i kind of feel like what i really need to let go of is my grudge against that whole summer. all the people who made me so miserable, the joblessness and the crappy jobs, the crappy house, the depression.

i kind of feel like it gets in the way of me being happy here now. now that it's summer and i'm here in noho again, i think of that time and it makes me angry all over again. it's so stupid.

how do you do it? how do you choose to let go of something like that?

and hm, i'm appreciating the irony of me thinking about this while at the same time i'm trying to figure out how one builds a grudge as powerful as snape's. hmmm. ::strokes beard::

gsiriusip

::pets angsty icon:: base by antheia. thank you! text by me. or, you know, christina rossetti. whatever.

is hot. brain no function. bye bye.