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i talked to the woman in charge of the production last night. now i know a few ( details )

talking to her made me more nervous and less. she seems super nice and we bonded over going to seven sisters schools. we talked about how my function will be more practical than the usual conducting job. which i had figured out. the pianist is really more the music director. he's been rehearsing with them already and is playing most of the score. i'm there more for coordinating things. she said something like, 'we just need you to hold everything together.' ahaha. right. that's where the more nervous part comes in.

i'm also feeling like i really shouldn't work tomorrow. i need time for the practical packing type stuff as well as the music-learning. i think i'll call the temp agency this morning. today i have to figure what the choir will do for its last three sundays, see if i can find someone to lead their rehearsal next week, get the tickets, figure out how i'm going to pack and be ready, keep learning the music and go to church and back on thursday. oh man. ::overwhelmed::

rach pointed out-and it's totally true-that even if i had known about this gig for the past two months, i'd still pretty much be crunching to learn it now in the last week. it's the way i am. only i would have been stressing and cursing myself out for two months. so, in many ways, the last minute-ness is a blessing. :)

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omg, this day is making me crazy. crazy!a left me about an hour's worth of work to do and here it is, 2 1/2 hours later and she's in a closed door meeting and i'm sitting here, twiddling my thumbs, thinking about everything i really should be doing. lkdfhalkdjfh.

i have spent most of my time googling some of the people who will be in the opera. am feeling... inadequate. they are all so accomplished and jet-set-y. and i'm all... i have a church choir. meep. oh, woe is my poor little self esteem. it's trying, it really is. but times are rough.

oop, she's coming out of the meeting. ::looks busy::

we told her to go away and away she goes, precious!

i'm freeeeeeeeee from the crazy!attorney's office! free! she was quite nice about everything. and i am on my merry way. alxamdulilaah.

and i have my tickets. for friday evening. and my friend allan is going to rehearse my choir next thursday. i just need to figure out what they'll be singing.

and then. the practicing. holy moly this thing is complicated. i want to kick britten in the shin once for every time he writes 'freely' in the score.

( the hardest part, conductor-wise, so far, is... )

i've had a couple panic attacks today. yeah. freaking out a bit. but. onward.