(no subject)

ehehehahheeee! my parents got thingy that copies tapes to dvds and they're slowly going through their tapes. my mom handed me a dvd and omg! i thought this tape had been lost. it's from my junior year of college and it's filmed with this old black and white camera... i think maybe an old one of my dad's or something? can't remember. anyway. C and L and hominidj and i played around with it and made a very very silly little video. it has 4 parts:

1. just tooling around with the camera, C and i fake kiss, we all play around.
2. we try to make a little movie about 3 girls getting it on. but when C climbs on top of L, i start giggling madly and run away. what was my problem?
3. sock puppets sing a song with the following lyrics: i like bananas, i know that mangos are sweet, i like papayas, but nothing can beat that sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet love of god.
4. we try a new movie, this one about how i'm worried that my boyfriend (hominidj) might be a lesbian. i go to C and L for advice and then decide to introduce him to them and see he finds them attractive. after he meets them, we have this chat:
me: she's cute, don't you think?
J: yeah, for a woman, i guess so.
me: so, you don't think she's straight up cute, just cute for a woman?
J: yeah, i mean, i can look at a woman and recognize that she's attractive, you know, by the standard.
maybe this is only really funny if you can see his deadpan delivery. or maybe only if you know hominidj, which many of you do.

it's very weird to see this 8ish years younger (wow) version of myself on tape. she's thinner and has shorter hair and gestures that i remember but don't use any more. and she's all huggy with a boy. and decked out in standard dyke attire. oh, the irony. i'm so much femmier now. but i suppose the greater irony is that now the other two are dating boys and i'm with a woman. or maybe that's only ironic if you know just how into the woman-love they were then. or maybe i'm just babbling and should go to bed now.

(no subject)

wow. i was unaware that orson scott card was a bigoted fuckwad. thanks (?) to delirieuse for the link.

i'm starting to think i want to see tPotC. just so i can have an informed opinion. i like having opinions. last night at rehearsal we practiced 'were you there?' and they all asked me if it was timed to coincide with the movie. haha. very funny.

oh, this is fun. i'm just zoning out in front of my laptop, thinking, i must have something else to say. apparently not.

(no subject)

i am no longer paranoid about A not liking me anymore. clearly, he just doesn't understand how his e-mails could be perceived. no matter how long, bouncy or enthusiastic my e-mails to him are, he always responds instantly with a short, to the point answer. it's his way. strangely ooc for someone who could easily earn the nicest guy in the world prize, but i'm deciding to let it go. also, i'm going to see him next week, so that is of the good.

i'm feeling frustrated with my work here today. there's too much for me to handle in this one day a week arrangement, too many layers to this project. meh. and i hate writing letters. which is my task at the moment. which is why i'm writing this post instead.

also, i want not to feel sad anymore. i'm just tired of it. i'm tired of everything that's complicated in the least. i'm tired of stressing and worrying and anxiety. i'm tired of the past and the future. i want mountains, gandalf.

should i become a monk, do you think?

it feels like reckless driving when we're talking

so yesterday bonibaru mentioned that it was something like Totally Pointless Drabble Day. oh how i love this concept. sadly, it seemd to be making its way around people not on my flist. but since i don't want to work on the stupid letter, i decided to write a pointless drabble. and since its goal was to be pointless, i decided to shoot for an actual 100 words this time - which i don't think i've ever done before. and i made it, 100 exactly.

( totally pointless remus/sirius drabblage )

(no subject)

sorry, wax_jism, for the unceremonious departure. express is a bastard, yo.

it's time for me to leave here. i'm so frustrated with how little i accomplished today. grrr. i'm so frustrated about so many things. there is tension leaking from my ears.

however, i am more than thrilled for camillafarfalla's job news. yay for a good thing happening to a good person.

relatedly, i am happy that she will be visiting on sunday and that antheia will be hitting the valley tonight! w00t. we are the hub of the universe. no doubt.