(no subject)

no... don't do it! don't go and re-read the same draco/harry... pull yourself together, woman!

why bother? i know i'm going to do it. i just can't get into any others since reading that one and i want me some draco/harry. you know what i don't get? why does all the harry/ron out there suck so badly? i mean... sure, it's a little easier than harry/draco... but you'd think that would make it a bit of a challenge. maybe it's just the big foofy fluffball in me talking, but i think a nice angsty, well-written harry/ron would be great. unfortunately, no good writers seem to agree with me. only crappy writers. so there is no harry/ron goodness for me to read. every time i try i end up somewhere between disappointed and disgusted. i would love to be wrong about this. please tell me if i am and provide linkage.

just wrote a rather long e-mail to starbuckle pretending to be wise and dispensing advice and such. i think she knows very well i am not wise. i'm just lucky. got me a great gal.

not. good.

i was so ready to be good and productive today. really. i've come to a bit of an understanding with myself about how i want things to be. this understanding does not include the pain in my head and the overwhelming nausea i'm experiencing. i'm inclined to take a few painkillers and ignore it. but, while the painkillers do a little something to numb the head, they do nothing positive for the nausea. this is awful. i think i'm going to need to lie down and that was not in the productivity plan. ::grumble::

my body is rebelling against something, i wish it would just let me know what. well, there's still the sleep theory. i really didn't mean to stay up that late again. why does the body have to be so harsh with me?

ok, first will write to siena about going to western mass tomorrow, then will go lie on futon in the study - the one room here that has ac and hence is not disgusting hot and humid and further nausea-inducing.

ugh, pitiful.

i know tomorrow you'll find better things... or something

ok. feeling much better! this is good. and i did things. things like washing the kitchen floor, laundry, calling the sweet onion for reservations, e-mailing siena, purchasing tanglewood tix for my dad and me... reading slash. heheh. that last one wasn't on the official list. but it made the others more palatable.

oh! also, i e-mailed a friend of mine about a job. that's right. a certain university choral society needs a conductor. this friend is leaving the job. i helped him get the phatty job he has at mt. holyoke... perhaps he can return the favor? oh, that would be nice. i would still need another job or two... but it would be something. anyway, i hope i hear back from him all about how i'm perfect for the job. it's a student run organization... i wonder if they require an audition...

oh god, even the thought of getting my shit together enough to apply for this job is incredibly heartening. it's happening.. i can feel it... i am slowly... surely... getting off my ass.

why are the ocean levels rising up?

a surprisingly nice night, given the nauseating nastiness of the heat. i mean, nice as in pleasantly spent, not nice as in a reasonable temperature. i walked into union square and met rach's bus and we had dinner at what seems like our new fave restaurant. it has become our favorite by virtue of its being in walking distance and having tasty vegan dishes made with tvp they call "temple chicken." it's yummy, whatever it is.

i really have never been a great fan of summer. summer is hot. i do not like being hot. at all. i would rather freeze than be a little bit too hot. i don't think that's an exaggeration. it's far easier to warm up when you need to than to cool down anyway. so i would take a thousand winters before a summer like this one. though this isn't the worst in recent history, i'm quite aware.

so, just in case the overwhelming yuckiness of this morning was a result of not enough sleep, i'm going to bed now. directly to bed, no slash for me. nope nope nope. bed. now.

oh yeah, GIP!

( noho kids, read here )