one thing about writing all this stuff at work is that i just take out the little pieces of wire paper and go. not with much of a plan. and so i tell myself these stories. and so it's not really being brave at all... i think i was just explaining to myself why sirius can't come back. because lately i've been slipping and wanting him to so badly.
but really, that's not exactly what this story is either. because in the end, remus of course goes to him. and maybe it's good, even for a day. and i would be happy for even that much for them.
i don't know if you know ray carver poetry (i love it, omg) but he was dying when he wrote those poems i quoted. he was told he had 6 months to live and then lives for years and years (i can't remember how many, manye 10 or more). and he had had a crappy life and treated people badly and then turned it around when he thought he would die and found a woman that he loved and was pretty happy for all those years that he expected death any day. there's one totally amazing poem about that - probably more than one - and how he wishes to die slowly in a hospital so he has time to see his loved ones all once more.
If I'm unlucky, as I deserve, well, I'll just drop over, like that, without any chance for farewell, or to press anyone's hand.
meepsirius.
ok, how did i get off on this tangent? ::rereads:: oh yes. i guess i was just thinking that it's a little like that. that sirius just dropped away so suddenly... and that if he could come back even just to say goodbye that, yes, it would be something. and i think remus would give over everything he has to have that. the remus in my head isn't as butch and stubborn as many people's, but he's strong and he's self-protective. but i think he's known for a very, very long time that sirius can - and will - hurt him. and that he loves him anyway, completely, and will let it happen if it has to.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-28 07:30 pm (UTC)one thing about writing all this stuff at work is that i just take out the little pieces of wire paper and go. not with much of a plan. and so i tell myself these stories. and so it's not really being brave at all... i think i was just explaining to myself why sirius can't come back. because lately i've been slipping and wanting him to so badly.
but really, that's not exactly what this story is either. because in the end, remus of course goes to him. and maybe it's good, even for a day. and i would be happy for even that much for them.
i don't know if you know ray carver poetry (i love it, omg) but he was dying when he wrote those poems i quoted. he was told he had 6 months to live and then lives for years and years (i can't remember how many, manye 10 or more). and he had had a crappy life and treated people badly and then turned it around when he thought he would die and found a woman that he loved and was pretty happy for all those years that he expected death any day. there's one totally amazing poem about that - probably more than one - and how he wishes to die slowly in a hospital so he has time to see his loved ones all once more.
If I'm unlucky, as I deserve, well, I'll just
drop over, like that, without any chance
for farewell, or to press anyone's hand.
meepsirius.
ok, how did i get off on this tangent? ::rereads:: oh yes. i guess i was just thinking that it's a little like that. that sirius just dropped away so suddenly... and that if he could come back even just to say goodbye that, yes, it would be something. and i think remus would give over everything he has to have that. the remus in my head isn't as butch and stubborn as many people's, but he's strong and he's self-protective. but i think he's known for a very, very long time that sirius can - and will - hurt him. and that he loves him anyway, completely, and will let it happen if it has to.