(no subject)

[phineasjones]

i am in a sirius/remus way today like i haven't been for... a really, really long time. i don't know what it is about today but, man. the whole 2 hour drive home from church i spent crying over madmadharri's sirius/remus mix. especially the last three songs - black is the color of my true love's hair by nina simone (omg, this kills me. i never would have thought it would but it's so... mournful. i'm sobbing as soon as she sings 'blaaaaaaaaaack.'), do what you have to do by sarah mclachlan (the pain, the pain, do you know these lyrics:

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage,
created you a monster,
broken by the rule of love?
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.

Every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul.
I'm ever swiftly moving,
trying to escape this desire,
the yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.

A glowing ember, burning hot,
and burning slow.
Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you.

I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
But I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.) and happens every day by dar williams (my own song for them. wah).

so, yes, in short: WAH!

and claire and rachael are on their way here which is good because it will force me out of mope mode but kind of sad because i wouldn't really mind wallowing in this sweet-sad place for a while. i have a remus(/sirius) to beta after all and this is probably either the best or the worst possible time for that. not sure which.

i think i hear them. better go fix my eye makeup.