(no subject)
Aug. 13th, 2005 10:58 ameek! the lotr daily calendar picture today is a bilbo extending his arms for a cuddle. i'm totally creeped out. man, it's always the saturday-sunday pics that are the least appealing.
i made some weak-ass coffee this morning. we started using a french press after our coffee maker bit it and... well i'm good with it when we fill it up. but since rach is working today and i slept late, i tried to make myself a half-full batch. um... that didn't work. blech.
i had a vision of today which involved rach and i being perky and happy and the sun shining and us going to the local sidewalk sales just a few blocks away. but. rach is working at the temp job that never ends. i have cramps and decided that was good reason to stay in bed 'til 10. and it's grey and overcast and cold.
but maybe i'll walk over and check out the sidewalk sales by my cold and lonely self.
::laughs:: omg, i'm really not that pathetic. i just have moments. especially hormone-induced ones.
but i have been pushing through the moments as best i can. yesterday had moments. there was one of abject fear when i went to the university library to study up on my non-western musics. something about being on the campus, going into the building... it just terrified me. but i calmed down when i was there. especially when i checked out a cd and my name came up in the computer and all... meaning yes, i really am a student there. this hasn't all been some colossal mistake. (what confidence issues? i don't know what you're talking about.)
and then i had a sad moment later, when i was home. rach didn't get home from the evil job til around 9. i was feeling lethargic and mopey and didn't want to cook dinner. but there is pathetic dearth of asian restaurants in our area of denver. it's really my one complaint about a neighborhood i generally love. had i been in noho, this would have been an evening of ordering some thai and camping out on the couch. but there is no nearby thai. ::cries:: so i stood in my kitchen for a while, feeling sad that there was no thai food and sad that there was no anney or scott or anyone to call up and invite over, sad that rach wasn't home, sad that i just had no obvious way to get away from myself in that moment. i just felt all lonely and stranded.
then i got in the car and drove around all the major streets nearby, certain that i would find a restaurant and could then resume my date with the couch. i found some mediocre chinese food eventually. at least i know i can get sesame tofu in a pinch. and rach came home and we watched freaks and geeks (omg, how i adore this show) and all was well. until i woke up at 5 am with nasty cramps.
and that brings us back to where we started. and me procrastinating on my day by trying to learn how to use paint shop. eh. i want photoshop back. this is what i get for always using stolen copies.
i made some weak-ass coffee this morning. we started using a french press after our coffee maker bit it and... well i'm good with it when we fill it up. but since rach is working today and i slept late, i tried to make myself a half-full batch. um... that didn't work. blech.
i had a vision of today which involved rach and i being perky and happy and the sun shining and us going to the local sidewalk sales just a few blocks away. but. rach is working at the temp job that never ends. i have cramps and decided that was good reason to stay in bed 'til 10. and it's grey and overcast and cold.
but maybe i'll walk over and check out the sidewalk sales by my cold and lonely self.
::laughs:: omg, i'm really not that pathetic. i just have moments. especially hormone-induced ones.
but i have been pushing through the moments as best i can. yesterday had moments. there was one of abject fear when i went to the university library to study up on my non-western musics. something about being on the campus, going into the building... it just terrified me. but i calmed down when i was there. especially when i checked out a cd and my name came up in the computer and all... meaning yes, i really am a student there. this hasn't all been some colossal mistake. (what confidence issues? i don't know what you're talking about.)
and then i had a sad moment later, when i was home. rach didn't get home from the evil job til around 9. i was feeling lethargic and mopey and didn't want to cook dinner. but there is pathetic dearth of asian restaurants in our area of denver. it's really my one complaint about a neighborhood i generally love. had i been in noho, this would have been an evening of ordering some thai and camping out on the couch. but there is no nearby thai. ::cries:: so i stood in my kitchen for a while, feeling sad that there was no thai food and sad that there was no anney or scott or anyone to call up and invite over, sad that rach wasn't home, sad that i just had no obvious way to get away from myself in that moment. i just felt all lonely and stranded.
then i got in the car and drove around all the major streets nearby, certain that i would find a restaurant and could then resume my date with the couch. i found some mediocre chinese food eventually. at least i know i can get sesame tofu in a pinch. and rach came home and we watched freaks and geeks (omg, how i adore this show) and all was well. until i woke up at 5 am with nasty cramps.
and that brings us back to where we started. and me procrastinating on my day by trying to learn how to use paint shop. eh. i want photoshop back. this is what i get for always using stolen copies.