a little warm death won't hurt you none

mostly feeling better today, after i effectively collapsed last night. fell asleep while rach was watching crumb around 8:30. stayed mostly asleep... waking up to hear very disturbing bits of movie... brushed teeth and fell in bed and stayed there for many many hours. this morning i feel a lot better but for the aching in my head, intermittent sniffles and uneasy tummy. really, it's not fair to have something that so closely resembles a hangover without having had the drunken fun. i want drunken fun.

very excited to read scottxwl's post this morning in which he dispels the ugly rumor that the hp kid actors are being replaced in PoA. he points to this article, thereby making my frickin day. rupert stays! thanks, scott.

also excited that starbuckle got my package so quickly. all hail the usps, that was some good work, there.

am at critical point with the study... just a little more concentrated effort, and i can call it done. rach has gone out to help celina with a project... which leaves me creative control of the room... which means i should hurry up and finish. much easier to make decisions this way.

rach accused me of being a control freak in the kitchen the other day... i really don't think that's true. i know i have the tendency, but i very consciously fight it. it's a mind over matter kind of thing. i have to assess any cooking situation and decide who's in charge... if it's me, great, then we're doing it my way. but if it's someone else, that's fine too. just have to adjust my expectations. there's an easy choir analogy - am i conducting or singing? either way is fine, but it needs to be clear at the outset.

i'm freaking myself out with this.

and i walked into the crowd again

::sigh::

just got call from gf who says that things with celina are going slowly and she will not likely be home at the originally planned time. is anyone surprised? just checking, bc i'm not. every time rach does something with celina, or even talks to her on the phone, things take 5 times longer than they should. i like celina. she's a great person... i just wish rach had enough strength of will to prevent this from happening. we even talked about it before she left... how this was going to happen. ha. called it.

so now... i could try to be social. call lauren or claire or judy or jen or rachel or allan. but... nah. instead i could look for a some good fic (recs?) or watch harry potter again or watch the bourne identity... or... plenty of things. thing is, i don't exactly want to be alone. i just don't want to be with any of the people i can be with.

::sigh::